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Younger Men....... [14 Jul 2013|01:04am]
[ mood | happy ]

I have a crush, and man is it bad. I am the forewoman for a landscaping company, the only woman working there, and I work with a bunch of guys. The guys on my crew are all 19, some more delicious and fit than others, most of them are gentile and kind. Hell, one of them I would totally go for an afternoon "chat" with, but there is one boy that all I want is to be his BEST friend.

I just want to hang out with him all the time, I want to party with him and his friends, I want to like everything he likes. I have an insatiable urge to be 19 again with him. When I think about the summer after my freshmen year it was the best summer ever! I don't want that to be my best summer! I want every summer to be my best summer... And I know if Quinn and I were BEST friends, I could have another 19 year old summer.

You know that feeling you get from just thinking about excitement? It's like you just kissed the person you have been crushing on for like 2 months, or the wait in line for the concert of your favorite band, or even the feeling you get reminiscing after the concert. Just thinking about the good times I should be having with Quinn makes my tummy all ticklely, I get super giddy. When I see Quinn, I want to shout "We are met to be BEST FRIENDS!"

I know this is crazy and could never be. Quinn is 19 and so are all of his friends, all the want to do is get high and super crazy drunk. Those years of my life are over, I am at the point if I eat junk food there are serious consequences. Yet I feel like if only I could just be there while people are parting around my I would be satisfied, but then I would be the creepy sober older lady... Not a look I'm prepared for, not alone anyway.

I'm sick of feeling old, I'm only 24! I'm sad all my best and craziest stories are from when I was 19 or younger. I want one to be from yesterday... I wanna feel young and fun! That is what I am! Young and Fun!

I feel old and boring yet, I'm being hit on more and more, which makes me feel awesome, and that maybe there is something to getting a full nights rest and not looking like hell because I went out the night before.

When I was 19 and having the time of my life, I also went through a miserable crush. I really liked this guy and really put myself out there and let him know that I liked him as much as I was able. (I'm not a huge advocate of talking about feelings to people I've known under a year.) He ended up dating another girl, then confronting me my last day, asking me if it was my best friend that I hinted that liked him. "No, it was me." I finally said and the awkward hug that ended the conversation was hell.

That same summer, same day even I had my first kiss! I drove home that night feeling AWESOME. I had weak knees and ticklely tummy, the same feeling that I have now thinking about being Quinn's BEST friend. I really do love the guy I'm with and really enjoy our relationship, I love the comfort and knowledge that he loves me unconditionally. He is the best he makes me laugh, and I really miss our adventures...Summer is usually our time to spend together and this year we are living six hours apart. I miss the crazy shit he would take me to do, he had all the best ideas, even though I was a Debbie Downer keeping him in line for the most part, I would kill do to something illegal awesome.

Quinn could never fill Cory's shoes, but I just need a best friend with evenings off.

I miss Cory...


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Ten Sentences about Snow [24 Feb 2011|11:08pm]
Snow is white cold and soft.
You can build a snowman in snow.
You can build small fist size balls and through them at people.
Snow get dirty very esily.
When you walk through wet snow it makes a squishy sound like "thud".
There are many types of snow, wet snow, dry snow, and frozen snow.
Dry snow is the best to ski and snowboard on.
You can snowmobill in snow.
You can sledge down hills of behind snowmobills or quads.
You can snow shoe through the mountians in snow.

(I'm going to describe ten of my expirences in snow, instead of ten sentences about snow. It is more fun for me this way.)

1. Taking wide strides my little buddy Dalton and I were up in the high Uintas. We were snowshoeing, and fresh snow was falling to the ground around us. To come off the mountian faster Dalton had taken to using his snowshoes like skis and was flopping around like a fish out of water.

2. Quitely, and patiently awaiting the ducks to come Dalton and I sat in deep snow by a wide shallow river. It was getting cold and I didn't want my friend to shoot the ducks, all I wanted to do is some bird watching. I got up from the frozen, crunch snow and yelled, "I'm ready to go home!"

3. All by myself Christmas vacation, I had nothing to do and was going nowhere fast. It had snowed a lot over break and realized there was only one thing I could do, build a snowcave. The snow was the wet kind that would pack together well. I made my wall, found an old kiddie pool for roof support and covered it with snow. Yeah, the cave was just bearly big enough for me to curl up in, but it was all mine.

5. Freshman winter I brought my sled to school. Earlier in the week I had noticed that some people had made some jumps out in the courtyard and I needed to try them out on my sweet new blue ride. The slopes were steep and the jump was crazy! I flying and smacked my bum on the ice that had been created by the snowboards. It was an uncomfortable rest of the week for sure.

6. All alone in the Yellowstone woods, surrounded by the lanky lodgepole pines Yellowstone is so famous for. The flaky snow was falling in the partly cloudy sky but like the true Wyoming snow storms it was windy. To hear the creeking of the frozen tree is so surreal. How limber is the lumber that is surrounding me, has the fridged cold took them to the breaking point? My questions are never fully answered because I'm scared away by rustling around by something that sounds larger than a squarel and angerier than a tree.

7. I don't remember it well, but I do remember the first time I made a snowman, it was with my Dad. As we were rolling the large mostly square balls he tells me all about the different kinds of snow. My Dad was trying to explain to me why today was the best to make a snowman because the snow would pack together so well.

Well seven is as good as ten! Don't be afraid to tell me your favorite snow expirences!
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Imagery-Shopping Mall [19 Feb 2011|04:44pm]
[ mood | chipper ]


Faces pass everywhere I look I see another person. A tired red face mother trying not to scream shuffles her four small screaming children to the door. Another man slow ad old tries to get to the watch shop as 100 going the other way push him back. 2 step forward 1 step back again and again he tries. A large group of teenagers are gathered in the arcade one ten year old boy weaves in and out trying to see. Faces everywhere I look.


Today as I went into the mall, every store I was welcomed and informed of the sales. "No, we're just looking." I reply awkwardly every time. I hate being confronted with pleasing grins and fake welcomes. I just want to do my shopping. A bitter person am I walking in wall too wall clothing, why do they have to put these four-ways so close. I'm always knocking off hangers, and having to bend down blocking people from their paths. We all just want to find that one piece of clothing. The springs lines are out for this weekend's President's Day Sales. Light pinks button ups, khaki shorts, and tank tops, these are things I want none of.

Young mothers are everywhere with their giant strollers, always blocking my way, flustered old people at registers that don't understand what the coupon applies for, teenagers trying trying to find clothes to impress the opposite sex. Yuck, I hate the hate the mall, it encompasses nearly all things I hate, angry people, and overpopulation. Call me a bitter shopper but I'll stick to the online.

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[16 Feb 2011|01:33pm]
What I want to do before I die

I want to do something politically. I either want to run for Senate or Congress (I now know that Senate and congress are the same, haha!). Something else would be to study abroad in Europe or Asia. I would love to incharge of a Historacle archiologst dig. Something like that would make me so happy, I would die happy.


Since then I've to come to realize that people don't want my help, and if they did they would ask for it. Since this country has repeatedly let me down and have not really tried to help themselves, I don't want it, or the people. Don't get me wrong, I still love the ideals of this country and some of the people in it, I just don't feel my young apathy will help anyone. Instead, I will save the trees!

Man, do I love a good tree. Everything about nature, even the desert where there is very little life, is beautiful and needs me. When I go for a small walk about and hear every little creek and snap of the wind blowing or a small animals, or perhaps a very large animal moving, it takes my breath away. I feel like the only way for me to help anyone else is for me to be the person standing up for the trees.

"He that plants trees loves others beside himself." Dr Thomas Fuller

But I still haven't told you what I want to do before I die! With all this back information, you will now see that my plan for a simpler life goal is what I really REALLY want. I really want to live on a self sustaining farm in Montana. HAHA! I really want to go see as many natural wonders as I possibly can and experience everything, good and bad. This is they only way to truly know what you are doing is what makes you happy. This world is here for you and me my friends, and we are here to be happy! No matter how lame (my self sustaining farm) or great (such as the next President)!

I don't know if that was really confusing it seems to me it was. Just know that Before I die I want to see as much as then many natural wonders I can and live on a self sustaining farm in Montana.

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Digging [14 Feb 2011|11:12pm]
As I was digging in my many giant tubs of junk that now encase my life I found a notebook that I've been holding on to for 5 years now. I wasn't originally searching for it, I was and still am searching for what I used as a journal, I like to write in it once a year, much like I do this livejournal. Anywho, this 5 year old notebook is from the best English class my school had to offer a Mrs. Anderson really wanted our young minds to learn and synthesize information I wasn't about to let that woman, (while she was kind and funny, remember I was only 16 at the time) know my inner most thoughts most of which were lame anyway.

What I want to do now is to write what I had originally wrote (with all grammatical errors) in the notebook and then answer the question with my much more learned mind (haha!) I'm hoping to make a habit out of this because I want to better myself and feel like this is a good way, and as one of my favorite livejournal games used to say
"That's enough for now. But I'll leave you with this thought - sharing your life with strangers on the internet is the cheapest form of therapy available. Leave a comment and tell me I'm beautiful."


Something I Regret

I regret alot of things like when I say something stupid or just don't shut up when I know I should. Infact I do that alot, I've said alot of mean stupid things, I've even made people cry. Most of what I regret are the times when I do make people cry or when I've made my friends REALLY mad.


Something I Regret

I regret not being a better student, friend, and daughter. I've lied way too many times to count to people that I love dearly, this is one of my many goals this year is to become a better person and feel good about myself again. A good friend, student and daughter wouldn't lie to skip class, to not babysit, or to not come hang out because of selfish reasons. These are things that I am guilty of, and don't feel like I should have any friends because of what I have done, but am grateful that I still do have friends even though I don't see them as often, or talk to them as often as I should. I'm back on the good track and am looking for forgiveness where ever I can find it. I know being honest will not ever come back and bite me on the booty like some of my lies have in my previous years.

Not being the best I can be, student, friend, and daughter; has really shifted my life in ways it is hard to imagine. I don't want to be living at home and commuting to school 3 days a week, on the other hand living at home has afforded me opportunities that I never thought of. I have had the chance to reconnect with a really good friend from high school, and work with her, and I have gotten to see my friend, that is leaving on a mission in 2 weeks, more than any other friend. I'm so happy that my life has turned out the way it has even though it isn't the way I would have chosen. My mistakes have really turned out to be a blessings in disguise.

In conclusion, you're all beautiful. All two of you that read this.
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Writer's Block: What Next? [19 Mar 2009|04:25pm]
What do you think happens to us when we die?
I will disappear into the force with the rest of the Jedi, who the hell cares about the rest of you losers. (haha just kidding.)
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Writer's Block: Gone but Not Forgotten [04 Dec 2008|06:21pm]
Many beloved television shows are no longer with us, like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Six Feet Under, and Mystery Science Theater 3000. What defunct television show do you miss the most?

Mystery Science Theater 3000! My bother and I used to stay up late and watch it, man I freaking love that show and I still get so excited when I see it is on.
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I'll break your dawn! [22 Nov 2008|11:16am]
Why?!? Why do I do these things to myself, I know I'll be unhappy when everything is said and done, but it just feels so right when I start. I have been warned by at least one person, "That sounds so dumb!" Agreeing I decided to never look or touch the unspeakable totally lame thing. "Cha! I'll never read that!" I exclaimed with such vigor, but with the months passing and the movie coming out I thought to myself "Hey I never read that last book, I should read it." WHY!?! As I read each passing page I think, "Wow! She really got paid to write this shit." It hurts to read! Then I remember what the great Patrick Swayze said in the ultimate movie, Road House, pain don't hurt. I hope I could remember this, I'm 544 pages into the book and I feel I have to finish to see if Bella and her half breed baby, Renemotherfuckere (the name I affectionately refer to her as) live. Seriously.

This half breed came to life after some wild sex between Edward and Bella, and let me just that the sex talk in this book is so freaking funny! Oh crap. I laughed so hard! I couldn't put the book down. Bella is such a horny little girl. I feel like this whole book something Stephanie Myers wrote during her period and all she wanted was happy endings.

Well, if you excuse me I have to leave because I have 9 more chapters and need to see if Renemotherfuckere dies or not.
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[21 May 2008|08:24pm]
So hear is some pictures of the good times Flora and I have been having here in Zion Ponderosa. Collapse )
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[10 May 2008|05:31pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Dear Mom and Dad

Yo! So far Zion Ponderosa is okay. It isn’t that hot yet and people are still wearing sweaters, how kooky is that!? I’m not, because it is unhealthy to sweat that much. I started work today, it was okay, there is this little Costa Rica lady working in housekeeping with me, and she says I clean almost as well as her. It is something to be proud of…Or something. I started at nine and was supposed to get off at five but there was nothing more to do so I got to get off early, and that is why I’m writing you, not because I like you or anything, because I’m bored.

Yesterday Flora and I went on a hike to see the whole of Zions’s Canyon, it was way pretty! I’m making friends, because you know everyone loves the Staci! OH! There is another girl named Stacey, I don’t love her, she seems nice, I just don’t dig people with the same name as I. The food here is okay, not great, but okay. I miss cookies, like a lot, if you loved me you would send me some cookies. LOVE ME!

Last night Flora and I went swimming in the pool here on the Resort and because we are employees we can get in after hours, so it was dark outside. Anyway, I had taken my glasses off and was walking excitedly to the slide which was up some stairs and I totally didn’t see the bottom step and fell so hard on my face! I like skidded across, it was very painful to my already non-existent ego, because some other staff members were there. I don’t know if they saw me of not because they didn’t mention it, maybe they just felt really bad for me so they didn’t say anything, which is also very funny. This story reminds me to beg my lovely Mother to buy me a new swimsuit PLEASE! The elastic has completely disappeared from the chest area of my swimsuit. I didn’t notice it until I came of the pool last night and MAN! It was really terrible.
I want this one in a size 36 and the color blue. *hint hint*
You can send it to this address: Staci Williams
%Zion Ponderosa
P.O. Box 5547
Mt. Carmel, UT 84755
HAHA! But seriously I need it. If you need to call you can call me at this number: 1-435-648-2700, I probably won’t talk to you very long if you call because the take the long distance calls out of our paychecks so if you call and leave a message I’ll call you back with a phone card they gave me.

It is weird living here, if feels like I’m at girls camp and I’ll be coming back home to Peoa at the end of the week. I’m bunking in a dorm with like 16 other girls, they all haven’t arrived yet, I hope they are all sociable girls and that I don’t want to kill them.

There are lots of things to do in our free time, we can go swimming, we get into the park for free, I can go on any of the recreation things, like riding 4-wheelers, or horse back riding. They even have paint ball! I cannot wait to play! Woot!

How are you guys?! What is happening suckers?!
Love Ya!

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Cause this our time and our space../History I can't erase! [12 Apr 2008|11:22pm]
So screw California
And ice that will never melt
From hearts of the modern
Children of Cicero

I'm leaving on April 30 and going to live five hours away from my dear my Mom and Dad. Leaving beautiful place I think of when I hear the words of Homeward Bound come on my iPod.

Homeward bound
I wish I was
Homeward bound
Home, where my thought's escaping
Home, where my music's playing
Home, where my love lies waiting
Silently for me

I hope and pray I have the strength to live far away from the people that make me so happy. I love my parents and I appreciate them so much, I don't do too much without talking to my Mom first, she is the only one I really trust to tell me if I look stupid. I know this song is about a whore but these lines remind me of my Mom because she is way big into our religion and she is always quietly reminding me that Jesus loves me more than I'll ever know, I'm going to miss that. I love her so much, she is such a beautiful person that just wants to help everyone she sees. She always welcomes everyone into our house, she may not always be sweet; but she is always honest.

And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson
Jesus loves you more than you will know
God bless you please, Mrs. Robinson
Heaven holds a place for those who pray

I'll miss my Dad's constant analysis of my every move, he believes I'm far to manic and that one day I will explode with anger at everyone. My dad always knows how to make a smile come across my face. He will always tell me the blunt truth even if it makes me cry, but I know his strict dating rule(I'm not allowed to date until I'm 30)is just because he loves me. I know that he wants me to be my own human without being too ostentatious. All my childhood my dad has subjected me to 70's rock and I love it all, this band and this song especially I will always think of hot summer days helping my dad around the farm.

Remember when you were young,
You shone like the sun.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Now there's a look in your eyes,
Like black holes in the sky.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
You were caught on the crossfire
Of childhood and stardom,
Blown on the steel breeze.
Come on you target for faraway laughter,
Come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine!

I love all my friends in the quiet village that I call home. One girl introduced me to being elitist and my first indie rock songs.

Indie rock'n'roll is what I want
It's in my soul, it's what I need
Indie rock'n'roll, it's time
Two of us
Flipping through a thrift store magazine
She plays the drums, I'm on tambourine
Bet your, your bottom dollar on me

One girl helped me to remember some stuff that I really need to remember.

Bust the lock off the front door
Once you're outside you won't want to hide anymore
Like the light on the front porch
Once it's on you're never wanna turn it off anymore
And now it's on

One girl just knows how to make me smile and she really knows how to put me in a great mood.

Jenny was sitting in the lounge
She was talking to herself
Well maybe things like that turn you on
Maybe you felt that for yourself

One girl taught me to always be honest and always, always be myself. This girl and I are moving down together and she has always been there for me, I don't think there is anything I could do to make her stop loving me, and I know there is nothing that make me stop loving her. She and I are two of a kind, she really makes my unbelievable happy, I'm so elated that we will be best friends forever.

Something in the way she moves
Attracts me like no other lover
Something in the way she woos me

I'm going to miss the beautiful green trees and my mom's green and red peonies that she pampers all summer long so they will stay big and beautiful. I'm going go miss all my friends new and old for I'm going away to Zion Ponderosa to clean rich people's houses for $250 a week, plus they pay for my food and shelter and I can play around in the park all I want after I get off work!

Cheer up, honey, I hope you can
There is something wrong with me
My mind is filled with silvery stars
Honey, kisses, clouds of fog

Miss me!
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Who cares about anything that starts with an H!? [17 Mar 2008|06:14pm]
HCollapse )
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You called me out and I say FUCK YOU! [15 Mar 2008|02:54pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Just jokes, but don't get used to me posting this often. You are lucky I'm bored.

Tagged by slacker_97:

The rules are: The people who have been tagged should post their answers and replace any question they dislike with another question they made up all by their little selves. Tag people. If tagged, don't feel you actually have to do the meme. But if you do, state who you were tagged by, and you cannot tag the person who tagged you. And, of course, change the Doctor Who question to "fandom of your choice".

You better read this!Collapse )

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My aching ass. [08 Mar 2008|11:45pm]
Seriously, it hurts severely. I went for a bike ride to Ken's Kash and what do I get? Sodomized by my bicycle seat. Enough of that...

I've decided I want to be apart of the meme trend! I'm so mad though because all this dumb music I never listen to came up none of my "cool" music that I want people to know I listen to...Lame!

1. Get the thingy that you use to listen to tunes.
2. Put the shuffle-mode on.
3. Find a picture of the first 25 artists. If the same artist comes again, skip.
4. Have you friends guess who they are.
5. Don't cheat! That's not cool.

Yeah!Collapse )
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HAHAHA! [14 Feb 2008|09:55pm]

How Horny are YOU?

You are a little bit horny. You can probably get pretty excited about the idea of making out with a crush of yours, and you've probably thought about sex from time to time. But all things considered, you're far less horny than most.
Take this quiz!

Quizilla |

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

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[02 Jan 2008|04:44pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

So I've had an Good year! I graduated and am now in college, I like it so much I'm going back for a second semester. I gained friends and I've lost contact with some, but I feel fine. I'm learning to play the piano and I can now play The Candy Man with BOTH hands! I'm pretty jazzed about that, I love music and I wish I was better with playing it. I can get the mechanics but putting my heart and emotion in it is really hard, you shouldn't have music without soul, it is just bad. I was mediocre at playing the clarinet in high school, hopefully I learn to play better.

I built a snow cave the other day and I thought about how people my age don't play outside in the snow because they have jobs and things to do. I'm such a child about these kinds of things I have even took as far to befriend a 15 year-old neighborhood boy to compensate for these feelings of immaturity. I love this kid though, I spent most of my Christmas break with him making cookies, and gingerbread houses when we weren't outside sledding. He taught me how to shoot a gun and we just hung out at my house. He is completely opposite from all of my other friends, he has a enormous amount of testosterone and is always claiming to be able to "kick the asses" of all my other guy friends, he does some illegal things, and is a kind of a "Man's Man" or he would be if he had to shave. I wish I was 15 again when everything seemed to be against me and I was all angsty. I look back at myself and laugh, but I think I was happier then.

Responsibly kills me. And acting like and adult!? Forget it. I have to grow up though. I can handle a job, and the homework, and sometimes if I really try I can fit in with the social roll I am supposed to play, I just can't do it all the time. I guess that is why I have Dalton, I can come home and throw all the shit away. Dalton doesn't care what I say or what I do, I don't have to act like a "Adult" around him. He is willing to do all the crazy crap that I always want to do like making igloos. I have two people that are always willing to do anything I want to do. I'm what you call the "idea man". How safe and logical the ideas are, is of no concern to me. That is why I like him because he doesn't hinder my "creativity", even if it will get him into trouble.

The point is I really like to make gingerbread houses, not only are they fun to make they are also delicious.

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MY NEW LITTLE NIECE! [09 Oct 2007|11:32pm]
This is the cutest damn baby ever! And I have seen a lot of them. I know what I'm talking about.
Anywho. This is my new niece Sophie Ann. She is so so cute and such a good lil' Baby! I like her, I like her a lot. So damn cute.

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[10 Sep 2007|11:22pm]
OMG! I'm having so so much fun! On Saturday night I came back to my apartment and we had a movie night, but I hate the movie we were watching so I was mostly texting this kid next to me because he didn't have my number so I was texting him dirty things. It was so funny! Then I go this really cute kid's number and I texted him for a while. OMG he is so so cute, it's the German kid, Jake. Anyway we went out later and played volleyball and crap it was fun! I suck at volleyball, but I had a good time making everyone laugh. Then on Sunday we like all six of us; Shalee, Danica, Lauren, Cameron, Jake and I went to church together and then we came home and made delicious fried chicken, people could smell it a floor below and everyone came to our door asking us what we were making and if they could stay. I felt pretty good! Tonight for our own FHE we went to a girl's apartment and watched "Heros" and I made Foccia(sp?) bread it was a total hit! (Thanks Lindy!) Then we went to Grounds, which is this coffee shop that has the best Italian Sodas! So we all got one and then went to Super Walmart and played Hide-and-seek. Crap I'm having such a good time and I'm getting all my homework done.

So yeah....

Party on Wayne!
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[06 Sep 2007|01:29pm]
[ mood | happy ]

I have some pretty foxy guys that live in my dorms!

One of my roommates knows this guy that lives a couple doors down from us and so he is always coming over and on Tuesday night he and his roommates came over for a movie. Anyway there is this guy that use to live in Germany lives with him and he is a total FOX! Dang I like to look at him. I don't like to hear him talk because he has a high pitched voice and I like my men with low voices. Lolz. Anyway, he Cameron, he is the friend of the roommate, and Jake, the German, came over for dinner, it was good! I'm always really funny when they are around. It's great because I look really funny, and kinda intelligent, which is good.

I have lots and lots of fun here in the dorm I'm glad that I came to live here and I'm not living at home. I'm meeting lots of nice people, and my RA is really cute and nice and he gave me a hug today! AHHH! LOLZ! Anyway...

In a little note I haven't done this much homework since 7th grade when I actually did my homework.

Remember to comment!


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[04 Sep 2007|03:05pm]
Hullo Jaime and Lindy!
So I'm in my dorm and my window is kinda large and I like it open because I like the breeze and the sunlight, it's great until I take a shower. And I look over and remember people could see in my window. I laugh and think "HAHAHA! Perverts!" Then I remember yeah there could be perverts out there and do I want them to see me? NO!! So I run over and shut my blinds. It is so hard living in the city where the perverts could be lurking anywhere. I find my self walk in between buildings from class to class looking into people's eyes to see if I could tell if they are perverts or not and then I begin to laugh again because I once again say the word pervert to a stranger walking by. So there is about 50 people that I have done this to now and they must think I'm a crazy person, because I walk around saying "Pervert" to no one and laughing. Oh well.

This is my S. S for sex.
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One side of my room.
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The other side of my room.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

I thought I might put these up so you guys can see my room. It's as if you are here. Perverts. Sorry. I like it when one comments on these so I don't feel like I'm writing this to no one, but you can't leave mean comments, Lindy. So I guess this is all for now.

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