I have a crush, and man is it bad. I am the forewoman for a landscaping company, the only woman working there, and I work with a bunch of guys. The guys on my crew are all 19, some more delicious and fit than others, most of them are gentile and kind. Hell, one of them I would totally go for an afternoon "chat" with, but there is one boy that all I want is to be his BEST friend.
I just want to hang out with him all the time, I want to party with him and his friends, I want to like everything he likes. I have an insatiable urge to be 19 again with him. When I think about the summer after my freshmen year it was the best summer ever! I don't want that to be my best summer! I want every summer to be my best summer... And I know if Quinn and I were BEST friends, I could have another 19 year old summer.
You know that feeling you get from just thinking about excitement? It's like you just kissed the person you have been crushing on for like 2 months, or the wait in line for the concert of your favorite band, or even the feeling you get reminiscing after the concert. Just thinking about the good times I should be having with Quinn makes my tummy all ticklely, I get super giddy. When I see Quinn, I want to shout "We are met to be BEST FRIENDS!"
I know this is crazy and could never be. Quinn is 19 and so are all of his friends, all the want to do is get high and super crazy drunk. Those years of my life are over, I am at the point if I eat junk food there are serious consequences. Yet I feel like if only I could just be there while people are parting around my I would be satisfied, but then I would be the creepy sober older lady... Not a look I'm prepared for, not alone anyway.
I'm sick of feeling old, I'm only 24! I'm sad all my best and craziest stories are from when I was 19 or younger. I want one to be from yesterday... I wanna feel young and fun! That is what I am! Young and Fun!
I feel old and boring yet, I'm being hit on more and more, which makes me feel awesome, and that maybe there is something to getting a full nights rest and not looking like hell because I went out the night before.
When I was 19 and having the time of my life, I also went through a miserable crush. I really liked this guy and really put myself out there and let him know that I liked him as much as I was able. (I'm not a huge advocate of talking about feelings to people I've known under a year.) He ended up dating another girl, then confronting me my last day, asking me if it was my best friend that I hinted that liked him. "No, it was me." I finally said and the awkward hug that ended the conversation was hell.
That same summer, same day even I had my first kiss! I drove home that night feeling AWESOME. I had weak knees and ticklely tummy, the same feeling that I have now thinking about being Quinn's BEST friend. I really do love the guy I'm with and really enjoy our relationship, I love the comfort and knowledge that he loves me unconditionally. He is the best he makes me laugh, and I really miss our adventures...Summer is usually our time to spend together and this year we are living six hours apart. I miss the crazy shit he would take me to do, he had all the best ideas, even though I was a Debbie Downer keeping him in line for the most part, I would kill do to something
Quinn could never fill Cory's shoes, but I just need a best friend with evenings off.
I miss Cory...